20 years

20 years wasn't enough to keep them together. Maybe that's the reason I will forever be afraid of commitment. How do you wake up one day and decide that your significant other isn't all that significant anymore?

You did though. And you've been begging for my forgiveness ever since. I'd like to believe that somewhere along the way I did finally forgive you, but it's been four years and I still get mad about it sometimes.

I think my anger is justified. Because you've been trying to justify what you did ever since then and you made up lies and started to believe them yourself.

So no. I'll probably never get along with my stepmom. You probably think I'm a brat for not giving her a chance, but in my eyes she doesn't exactly deserve one.

And I realize her 6 kids had nothing to do with it, but they bug me too. Maybe it's because all their names start with the same letter and that makes me want to vomit. Or maybe it's because I met them the week of the wedding. The wedding that I never showed up to because it was too much for me to handle.

I thought I might regret not going to your wedding someday, but that regret still hasn't come. And you say I'll regret not spending time with you while I can and I probably will, but not quite yet.

The guilt-trips and the pathetic tears have no effect on me anymore so you might as well save your breath,

I can't explain why, after four years, I still cry about it sometimes and wonder how something like that could happen to my seemingly perfect family.

I guess it was only ever perfect from the outside.