Maybe someday I'll get over the fact that I let you steal my first kiss like you did. But for some reason I liked it and I let you and now I wish I would've waited for someone who gave a shit about me, but I guess that's the problem with closing your eyes.
Maybe I'll get asked to Senior prom, but right now I'm more worried about figuring out what we're doing for Sadie's because that's in two days and we still haven't ironed out the details. Spontaneity is fun, right?
Maybe one day I'll be able to keep a best friend because I've spent forever trying to find one who I can stay close with for more than 6 months without wanting to rip their hair out and having to start my search over again. I guess I've never been good at long-term anything.
Maybe I'll forget how you kissed me like you meant it. As if I even know what that means. But now you're leaving for two years and I'm proud of the person you've become. I'm just sad that I wasn't a part of helping you get there. I'm sorry I broke up with you over the phone. You didn't deserve that and I didn't deserve you.
Maybe college won't be as bad as I'm anticipating, but I'm planning for the worst. I probably won't know what I want to do with my life by the end of it, but I'm holding out for someone to tell me.
Maybe I'll become a workaholic to avoid getting married because I'm afraid of saying "I love you." And I realized I was in love with him after my fears called him up and told him I wasn't ready, I wasn't old enough, it wasn't right, it wasn't him, it was me, we could still be friends. Or maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was regret and I was just trying to find a reason why I stayed with him for so long. I'll never find out and I think the unknown is what I fear the most.
Maybe I'll stop resenting Tuesdays.
Maybe you'll stop blaming Disneyland. How could you hate the happiest place on earth?
Maybe I'll move to Seattle where it's rainy so I never have to choose between yes or no because the gray area is where I intend to make a home.
Maybe you'll take me to Southern California where I left my heart because I never told you, but you know exactly where to find it.
Maybe I'll stop saying maybe because there's so much that can go wrong with maybe.
"I'm just sad that I wasn't a part of helping you get there."
ReplyDeleteI loved this because the emotion it evokes. Such strong language here.
"Maybe I'll move to Seattle where it's rainy so I never have to choose between yes or no because the gray area is where I intend to make a home."
ReplyDeleteThis line made me feel like I should move to Seattle to escape the black and white questions. How you created that sentence, I have no idea but I love it.
Literary the Seattle line is by far my favorite.
ReplyDelete$tolen
last line was beauty.
ReplyDeletemaybes are intimidating.
love this post s'much.
Maybe I'll move to Seattle where it's rainy so I never have to choose between yes or no because the gray area is where I intend to make a home.
ReplyDelete#stolen